Friday, September 16, 2011

I wish you the joy of loving

Today my son Neill turns 8 years old. He's been such a perfect addition to my life, the missing piece I didn't know I was missing until he arrived. Thank you, son.

For your birthday, I wish you patience. I wish you perseverance. And I wish you the joy of living. The joy of loving. I love you with all my heart!!!

I was going through my gallery thinking I'll just repost one of my old layouts, probably one showing him as a baby, to go with the short Happy Birthday message. Instead, I found this one that I consider one of my most favorite scrapbooking layouts ever. And it turned out that I haven't even shared this one on this blog yet! What's wrong with me? Duh???

The page is really special to me. You'll understand it once you read it.

Journaling reads:

"Starting Over"
Neill was not breastfed as a baby.

Back then, who knows how much I could have pocketed if I got a penny 
everytime somebody gave me a you're-not-trying-hard-enough look. 

My breast milk didn't come when Neill was born and for the whole first week 
we pretty much starved him because I was so determined to breastfeed. 
We really didn't have anything else prepared in case I couldn't do it. 
I had read so much about the advantages of breastfeeding 
and wouldn't give my son anything but the best. 

Well, turned out I couldn't give him that. 
I extended the hospital stay but in the end even the doctors and nurses gave up 
(without really saying so) and suggested that he should be given full-on formula. 
I couldn't even describe how much it hurt.

I know it's nobody's fault and it couldn't be helped. But sometimes I want to scream, 
'Enough with the look and don't try to make me feel less of a mother because of it!'

I would have given anything though, to go back and start over with all the breastfeeding struggles. 
But it just can't be done. That day when I gave Neill his first full bottle, I felt defeated. 
Then I realised that I was holding on to my ego instead of his needs. 

That day, we started over together. 
I learned that being a mother doesn't only mean pushing for the best, but also accepting the truth. 
And I hope Neill learned that eventhough it might not always work out in the end, 
I'd fight tooth and nail to give him the best I possibly can every single time.

The layout's journaling is inspired by this blog post by Trish (MommaTrish - she writes the best sarcastic parenting blog in my opinion.) I read her story and just had to tell my story as well. Thanks for the motivation, Trish!!!

The product used in the layout is "Anew" kit (retired) by my friend Rachelle. She used to be known as Studio Doodelle but now on hiatus from scrapbook design. You can still follow her insightful and fun personal blog.

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Just a little advertisement before I say goodbye for the day... :)

  • Val is hosting a challenge! You have a whole month to complete it. :) Oh, and did I tell you there's a free mini something for grabs at the challenge thread?

  • Anita is releasing this new beautiful kit: The Best Things in Life. I'm so sad I was so busy I didn't make a layout with it yet. But I will soon! For now, you can visit Anita's blog to take a closer look at the kit and a new set of templates too!

Bye for now! :)


Ella said...

Pom, yes, I agree, this page is really really beautiful : by the design but by the journaling too. I liked it. Thanks to share with us.

Chris said...

This layout is precious Pom, and reading your words takes me right back to the birth of my first daughter, and my lack of milk to feed the poor little thing with.

Anonymous said...

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